Patience

Today I am thankful for PATIENCE.

Patience is when B spends four hours of his day off, painstakingly scaling and printing a thumbnail sketch for my Christmas window to a four foot by three foot template, helping me tape it on the window cause I'm not tall enough to do it by myself, measuring out the dimensions, and helping background mask. Then, when I took a closer look at the situation out there and noticed how badly the rain came in underneath the six foot eaves, he helped me scrape all the mask off again, a sloppy messy job using credit cards, a spray bottle, and paper towels. Without ONE WORD of protest.

B's patience is one of his finest traits. He is slow to anger, meticulous in his dealings. The PD has something to do with this slowness of process, but the patience is B's. He takes everything in stride. I am the polar opposite; I struggle with patience. This spring when half the yard was six inches deep in mud and I was despairing, B was planting seed and surveying it with the serenity of a guru. "Have patience", he told me "It will grow." And it did. He's right, so many times out of many.

I found a book that will carry us through till around Christmas. It's called "The Love Dare", and it's a forty day guided marriage booster. Each day has a topic; each day has a 'dare', and calls for accountability. I will be doing the dare and the journaling, I'll just be doing it here. From what I can see, there's some valuable stuff in there. So, I am your guinea pig. I'll give you a review at the end of the forty days. Was it worth it? Did we need it? Does it work? I'll let you know. I'll post each day's dare and topic, and you can work it with me.

Here goes...

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Day 1

Love is patient


Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Today's Dare

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated
in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart.
For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing
negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to
say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something
you’ll regret.

Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?

Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?

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Today I have not been angry with B. I will admit that I was hurt by something he said last night, but we're talking about today, so I'm off on a technicality. But then, if there was no opportunity for me to get irritated, how am I supposed to rate my reactions? Maybe I'll use yesterday's incident after all.

Yesterday B forgot his afternoon pills. We were out shopping, and I felt him crash. We came home as soon as we could, but it was too late. He was so far behind on the meds that he was totally down. He was angry with himself, and with the PD, and chased me out when I was trying to help. My feelings were hurt, and it made me angry. When I look back at it, what I'm REALLY mad at is the PD. But it's easier to slam a door, to retreat in silence.

But when I do that, is it really bringing us closer together? I know that I want him.. NEED him.. to be able to let me in when he's hurting and sick, but is it really his need right now, or is it just my own insecurity? Am I really hurting him by my need to have my needs be heard?

Today I vow to keep silent my hurtful tongue. This man - my treasure, my beloved friend - does nothing to deserve the acid of my hurtful words. I will not desecrate the sanctity of this relationship with anger.