Consideration, or How to Behave in Public

Day 5: Love is Not Rude

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. -Proverbs 27:14

Today's Dare

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention?

How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?

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Oy vey. This one is a slippery slope.

It's early in the day today. I'll let you know how this one goes. This, I'm afraid, is one of the exercises that apply to me. I'm somewhat afraid of what he'll say. Should I anticipate what he might pick out as my annoying faults? Or is that against the nature of the challenge?

Is it that I can get loud without really realizing it? That I've talked about scrubbing out the shower for the last five days and not gotten around to it? That I always forget to put the coffee on at night with the timer so we have to wait an extra five minutes in the morning? Or that I've been known to toot occasionally in bed while asleep? (Hey... the occasional gaseous emanance is normal, right? And he spent the summer completely obsessed with rice, beans and coleslaw. How am I supposed to be held accountable for rice and beans?? Especially when I'm asleep?!?)

Wait... I'm not supposed to justify or defend. Okay. So no more Mexican food for me.

I await the judgment with bated breath....

(Okay, that is NOT why I am holding my breath, you guys!)

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Update:

Well, I got my answers, and he laid them out quite well, I thought. The list seems to be filtered somewhat by our intense frustration with the project we're working on at work, which has really brought out the worst in us. Not really proud of the way I've been handling being completely and utterly frustrated with this damn database we're working on. But then it would make the pope cuss. So, here are his answers, ranked in order from least to most importance:

3. My lack of patience (particularly when we're working on a project) I tend to get easily distracted/frustrated, and like to move on to fresher projects. Do I have ADH, or is it just that I hate the minutia inherent in the last quarter of a project?

2. On a similar tack - My defeatism when something goes wrong. Again, a product of frustration. Or should I say a coping mechanism gone awry? He told me that I have a tendency to unravel and focus on the defeat rather than tackling the task itself. Without coming right out and saying it, this is his diplomatic way of saying that I can tend to be a drama queen sometimes.

1. Saving the worst for last, a not totally unexpected, but unexpectedly poignant one. He said the thing that bothers him the worst is my lack of self confidence. Particularly, he said, the fact that I don't believe him when he tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. He said this, mind you, in the kitchen, lifting my chin with his fingers because I'd dropped my eyes in shame.

And that, beloved readers, brought tears to my eyes, then and there. I can work on all of those things. But that last one....

How could I ever believe I deserved a man as wonderful as this one?