Back for the attack!

WELL, it's been a pretty nice weekend. We came off the summer weather into some nice crispy fall weather beginning Saturday morning. It was overcast and breezy; just the kind of cool that makes me want to tuck blissfully into the weekend. We slept in deliciously late, then got started on our day. I would like to say it was uneventful, but of course you know *that* wouldn't be the case! What fun would it be if things were quiet? LOL

Here's a piece of advice for all you boys and girls at home. If you, like many other households with balance-challenged occupants, use one of those plastic bath mats in your tub (the kind with the octopus-sticky discs on the bottomside), take note!



Looks innocent, doesn't it?

• Valuable Lesson of the Day #1: IF the bath mat migrates to a part of the tub necessitating its removal and replacement, MAKE SURE YOU PUSH DOWN HARD on the little sticky discs when you put it back, thus ensuring that it is COMPLETELY STUCK DOWN.


• Valuable Lesson of the Day #2: Always let the balance-challenged person go LAST. You, my non-Parky friend, are the Guy in the Red Shirt. The canary in ye olde coal mine. The trailblazer. You test the water to make sure it's just the right temperature. You offer an arm over the slippery dippery sides of the tub (which, if you have kids in the house, can feature coatings of all sorts of fun things left by the last occupant: Mr. Bubble, soap chips, bath oil, conditioner residue, or even Plastic Tub Toys!). You make the world safe for democracy... or maybe just your beloved partner.
  
• Valuable Lesson of the Day #3: When sallying forth into the Great White Basin, remember this: Unsecured plastic bath mats can also double as boogie boards under the right set of circumstances. Surf's up!


• Valuable Lesson of the Day #4: If, in the course of daily events, you break one of your toes, there's nothing they can do about it but buddy-tape it to the other ones. Stopyerwhinin.

LOLOL I would show you a picture of it, but it's pretty ugly looking. My only consolation is that I went first; it could have been B, and then I would have been devastated. I'm actually finding it really amusing, once the pain was tolerable. Who else but me could break a toe in the bathtub??

So, since I can't get my tennies on anymore, since my foot's still pretty swollen up front, my new goal of taking a 3 mile bike ride with the neighbor lady has had to be postponed. Oh well... Time to stay at home and do other things.

Things like....



Take a nap.






Some people should be prohibited from operating a camera while OTHER people sleep. Talk about your undignified positions! Although it IS pretty cute....

Well, Monsty is cute anyway.
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In other news, it was our 'borrowed girl's birthday last week (she is actually my daughter's best friend, who is over at the house every day and night).

The daughter made her a really cool cake. It was all her idea, and she did most of the work herself. She called on me to do the lining on the windows and doors, since we didn't have a proper deco bag and tip, and had to use a baggie.
I think it came out spectacular. So did everyone at the party. Woo hoo!
Too cool.

Last but not least, I have a funny.

When you've been together a while, you know pretty much all there is to know about your mate. I'm not talking about where they went to school, or how many sibs they have, or even who their first kiss was. I'm talking about the little details, the intimate ones. What size are his jeans? Does he favor pocket Tee shirts or no pockets? Coke or Pepsi? Tighty whities or boxer briefs? Beatles or the Stones? Cuddle or sprawl?

But in the beginning, those were all things you had to learn. Some things you learned by asking, other things just by osmosis.

I thought I had it made. I was doing so well. When his socks got tatty, I went out and replaced them; like magic they appeared in his drawer. I always remember to pick up his favorite kind of mixed nuts when I'm at the supermarket. I keep an eye on the level of the mouthwash in the bathroom so that he never runs out. I consider myself an attentive sort of mate. After all, it's what he would do for me. Right?

So, when the toothpaste ran low this week I put it on my grocery list. At the store, I was delighted to find that they were having a two for one sale! How fortuitous! This way I could make sure he didn't run out for quite some time! B would be so pleased.

When I got home and put groceries away, I half expected him to mention it. After all, the old tube still had a couple uses in it, so the new ones were standing in readiness at the counterside, erect soldiers of cinnamony flouride goodness. I assumed that he was pleased with my 'good-wife resourcefulness'.

We were walking through another grocery store this weekend, looking for a couple of items that I'd not picked up. I asked him his opinion on which one of two different brands of some item we were looking at, and he said he didn't care. I said "Surely you must have SOME preference. You know... I really do value your input."

"Weeeeeeellllll...." he said rather carefully, "there is the matter of the toothpaste."

I looked at him like he was speaking Swahili. "I just bought toothpaste."

"I know," he said, rather sheepishly. "I actually really HATE cinnamon toothpaste."

I stood there a moment, till I realized that passersby must think I was out to catch flies in my mouth. "You...you HATE cinnamon toothpaste?? But... you've been using it all this time! Why didn't you say something?!?"

He just looked at me and I looked back at him, and we burst out laughing. I was seized by the giggle fit monster, right there in the aisles of Safeway. The hold your sides, laugh until you cry, pants wetting, snorking sort of giggle fit. Grand mal. It was just SO FUNNY.

"You... you... you've been using it for NINE MONTHS!" I shrieked. "We must have gone through FIVE tubes! I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Well, you kept buying it!" he laughed.

"Because YOU KEPT USING IT!"

We had to leave the store.

And... I'm still giggling.

Mars and Venus. In the toothpaste aisle.

I'm happy to report that B has his own tube of minty fresh Colgate now. Thank God we weren't playing "The Newlywed Game". ;-)

Signing out, folks. I'm off to find out if my side of the bed's still warm. See you on the flip side.