Long time gone

It's true.  I've been a long time gone.  And I really should be doing a thousand other things than sitting here, but sitting has become my solace.

It would take too long for this post to recap the past six months, but I'll say this:  between B's illnesses and my own, it's been a whirlwind of specialists and misery for quite a while.  Interspersed with the wonder and awe of such things as taking the girl off to college, building an addition to the house, and reclaiming our son from the long shadow his sister cast for eighteen years.  It takes a long time to build a family, especially when life insists on happening in the meantime.

So, we're back.  I still owe some very important letters and emails, some of which I feel a deep shame for missing for so long.  I dropped the ball, grievously, and I am very sorry.  I can only say that I have been so deep within our own pain and misery that I've had energy only to brush the surface of the outside world and dip my toes in occasionally.  Any further or deeper interaction has required more mental energy than I possessed.  And that's as many excuses as I will make here.

PD is still our roommate, but we've come to deal with it much better.  Somewhere in the middle of the great medical crisises of 2010 we decided that we did not have to put up with an unresponsive, rude neurologist any more, and fired him.  We found what seems to be a pretty good movement disorder specialist three and a half hours away in the Big City, close enough to B's brother and sister in law's place that we can do an overnight.  She took the ball in hand and ran with it, changing him in the first visit to Requip XL (versus the regular Requip, which caused him profound nausea and misery four times a day and had big on and off periods) and bumped up his Sinemet dosage.  The combination of the two changes has eliminated his weak side drag and limp, and given him a peaceful daytime, since the nausea and ups and downs are pretty much gone.  The XL lasts longer, and has a smoother ride.  It's been out for a few years now, and it never occurred to the old neuro to change it.  Thank God for new doctors!

It's impossible to describe how wonderful it is to see him feel better.  There is precious little comfort in this whole thing, but to find this small change that makes such a vast difference is definitely a blessing.  If only we could fix everything so easily!

The girl is doing fantastic at college.  She is loving it.  She's hooked up with a sorority, and pinned with her group last week.  They can't move into the house until next year when the Seniors move out, but in the meantime she's made fast friends with all the rest of the girls on her dorm floor and is having a ball.  The midterm grades showed a 3.9 GPA.  Finals are next week before Christmas vacation.  We all have our fingers crossed that she can pass the finals as well as the midterms.  Adjustment has been easy for her, thank God.  It seems funny to think that just a couple of years ago we were wondering if she would make it to high school graduation without dropping out. 

My relationship with my son is a subject for another post.  All I can say is that we needed this so badly, this time together.  He astounds and awes me, and I am so very proud of him.  I can see that we are in for another long road to get him to where he needs to be, in college, but that it's going to be worth the journey.  The depths of the relationship he's found with B is incredible.  I never could have anticipated that, nor that the girl would call B to come spend Dad's Weekend with her in her dorm.  I don't know what happened that I did right finally, but I hope it lasts. 

This post is to say that I am back, hopefully for a while.  I'm sorry I left, and that I dropped the ball on my friendships here.  This place is valuable to me, as are you.  If you're all still here, thanks for hanging in.  I'll try to make it worth your while.