“I have some news.” She said over coffee. “I’ve made a decision. I’m going to retire in three more years.” I looked at her in surprise. She has been the primary breadwinner for as long as I can remember; Dad hurt his back a long time ago and has been on disability. They had their place free and clear until they finally had to get out of the decrepit and unsafe trailer that they had been living in. I knew that new mortgage bill had to be a big adjustment. We were adjusting, ourselves, to a mortgage quite a bit more than our rental had been.
“How are you going to do that?” I asked.
“I have been paying down all of our credit cards and bills.” She said. “I only have one left, plus your Dad’s Harley. I made up a plan and I think I can have them all paid off in three years . Then I’m quitting.” She said placidly. “I’m getting my chickens this year, and we’re retrofitting an area out back for some pigs. With that, my garden, and the cows, we should be good.”
I sipped my coffee and stared at her, thinking about that. “Wow.” I said. “That’s really great!”
“I want to go camping this year, too.” She said. “Before we can’t anymore.”
It was funny to hear that coming from her. Those are thoughts that have been circulating through my mind for the last year. We missed our vacation this year since we had an unexpected trip to Iowa for B’s daughter’s wedding. Not that it wasn’t fun…. But I’d promised my kids that we’d go to the beach or go camping at least once last year, since it had been some time since we’d taken a family vacation, and that hadn’t happened. Heavier on my conscience was the promise that I’d made to my daughter – that we would do it last summer since she wouldn’t be able to have another family vacation with us again, with college looming. With the new house, and M’s wedding, and hosting family on several occasions, there just hadn’t been time or money. We had to make choices, but how do you prioritize family members?
We too have talked about getting out and going on a vacation, somewhere with no attached doctor’s appointments, events, or obligations. Just an opportunity to relax. Underlying it all is the unspoken thought – we need to do this while we still can enjoy it. It’s odd to think that my parents and I are in the same place in life – trying to grab onto life’s experiences while we still can. It’s somewhat unsettling, but at least it gives us some common ground.
B and I sat down with our taxes last week, and we think we can pull ourselves out of most of our remaining debt from moving, the wedding, and what has been left of his divorce settlement. That alone would be a blessing. If that’s the case, then by my calculations, once the kids leave home and our daily expenses settle into just the two of us (no more last minute “I needs”!), we can actually live well and put some away in savings. But, as with anything, that’s all just on paper. And that’s provided B still is well enough to work.
That will change too, eventually.
I didn’t have the nerve to ask Mom how she’d planned for the eventuality that both of them will no longer be able to work the farm. I have a feeling that it’s something she hasn’t wanted to think about. But Dad is already having problems doing the daily chores, and has had to give up his side jobs to a helper. It’s an eventuality for all of us.
And that’s an eventuality that we have to plan for, but only have a hazy view of. For now, we think we have it licked. We think we’ve covered the bases. But life has a way of slipping one to you here and there. I hope we’ve done our homework, and can be in the same place Mom and Dad plan to be in three years. That’s my goal, and I’m stickin’ to it.
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